Our greatest love we never knew

Dear BB,
I’m sorry that you had to leave us so soon. Our time together was too short, and we waited a long time for you. Dad and I were married in 2005. We decided to wait a year before we tried for you; a year to be selfish and enjoy one another and our marriage. Then your dad was sent on a short notice deployment to Iraq. He was gone for 7 months of our first year “together”. We decided we needed another year; a true year to enjoy one another.
Finally, we were ready for you and all the joy you would bring. We thought it would be easy for us to get pregnant. Surely, it would happen on our first try! Well, God wasn’t quite ready to let you join us. I started to get worried that something was wrong, and even though we didn’t have to wait as long as some moms and dads, it sure felt like eternity.
We were elated when we found out you had joined us! We decided to wait before we told a lot of people, but your dad and I were so excited that we couldn’t hold it in long (your dad will tell you that I spilled the beans first, but he was just as excited in his announcements). We told your grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins and second cousins, friends and neighbors, “We’re having a baby!”
I didn’t have a lot of pregnancy symptoms and worried that you were okay; I guess I had a mother’s instinct that you were having some troubles. On July 23rd we were finally going to see your first pictures and listen to your little heart. Our new doctor would be the director for your first cameo. I was so glad your dad was able to come with me. The doctor first showed us where you were living; your home inside me that should have been growing bigger every day.
It didn’t take long to realize that something was wrong. He showed us where you were, but I knew that something wrong. You were still so tiny, and the doctor was looking all around for your beating heart. Your dad and I started to cry when we finally realized what was happening. The doctor said you stopped growing about 3 weeks earlier, but my body and my heart didn’t want to let you go.
Even though we never got to meet, I’ll forever keep you with me. I have a bruise on my hand from the IV during my surgery. It’s starting to fade now, but I wish it wouldn’t. It’s one of the few physical reminders of your short time with us.
We had big plans for you BB…I guess God had bigger plans. I often wonder what His plans are. Surely, you’ll be angel for all of the other little babies who couldn’t join their moms and dads. Maybe you’ll help God pick the perfect sister or brother to join our little family soon.
I do know that I’ll miss you for the rest of my life. You were our first child and we wanted you so badly. It broke our hearts to have lost you so soon. You were our hopes, our dreams, and our future. You were our greatest love we never knew.

Love forever,
Mom and Dad